How often do we stop ourselves from doing something through fear?
Fear of rejection, fear of ridicule, fear of criticism?
We are all born with the fight or flight mechanism but so often flight is our go to option.
We have been programmed to fit into pigeon holes, certain stereotypes. Dress this way. Wear your hair that way. Eat this. Drink that. Don’t move outside the box!
From a young age it is drummed into us that we should conform. Lack of conforming leads to rejections and ridicule. Both things none of us want to experience.
The trouble is that this fear of rejection and ridicule holds us back in so many areas of our lives. I have spent half my life not wearing the things I like because nobody else was wearing them and I didn’t want to stand out and risk being criticised because I’d got it ‘wrong’. But how can something be wrong if it makes you happy? What difference does it make if nobody else is wearing it or if it’s not ‘on trend’? Who cares? Am I hurting anyone? The answer is no. So why do we continue trying to fit in?
Fear of rejection and ridicule is what holds us back in our professional lives as well. Have you ever been in a meeting and chosen not to speak up just in case what you have to say is rejected. What if it’s a silly question? What if I’m the only one that doesn’t agree or understand? So you sit there, lips firmly shut and walk out of that meeting frustrated!
What, on the other hand, if you are not the only one who doesn’t agree? What if you are not the only one who doesn’t understand? What if you are the only one brave enough to speak up? It doesn’t matter if your disagreement of something is dismissed or if something has to be explained more than once. You spoke up when you needed to. You may have brought a new angle to an idea that wasn’t noticed before. You may have got that question answered for a whole heap of people in the room who were all too scared to speak out. You also won’t be leaving that room feeling like you should have spoken up when you had the chance! No question is ever a silly question, remember that.
Now look at you dreams and ambitions. How many of them have you let slip away because you didn’t think you were good enough? Thought your ideas would be rejected? How many jobs have you not gone for because you didn’t think you would get the job and then sat at home complaining because you are stuck in the same old job, with the same old wages going nowhere? I couldn’t tell you how many opportunities I missed out on because I didn’t think I was good enough or because I thought I might get rejected. How many blog posts I’ve typed and deleted because I didn’t think anyone would want to read it. If I’ve learnt anything on my Law of Attraction journey, it’s this… Life is short, you only get one shot. Trust your intuition. Follow you joy. Put yourself out there because you never know what you’re missing out on if you just hide away and sit in your pigeon hole.
My writing might not be the best. I might waffle on. My message isn’t for everyone. Who cares? It gives me joy! Who said you have to know exactly what you are doing in order to be successful? I’ll tell you who, NOBODY!
The Wright Brothers didn’t have a formal education. They didn’t know how to build a machine that could fly. But they changed the face of human travel forever. They opened up the whole world for everyone.
Richard Branson is dyslexic. Did that stop him becoming one of the worlds most successful businessmen? No. Why? Because he never let anything stand in his way. He faced his fears full on. He strived forward, not knowing what he was doing or how he was going to do it. All he knew was that he was going to succeed one way or another.
Thomas Edison said “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work”. Think how different life would be if he had given up at the first hurdle. If he’d have listened to all his critics and sceptics? We would all be sitting in the dark!
Failure is only a manmade word. Look instead at things not as failures but lessons on how best to do something right.
Remember the old proverb:
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again
J K Rowling’s first Harry Potter novel was rejected by 12 publishing houses before it became the worldwide phenomenon it is today.
Failures are just lessons learnt and stepping stones to unimagined successes. Everything ever created, invented, written, filmed and made was first preceded by failures, rejections and embarrassing moments. Persistence pays off. Never give up!
Love and happiness