I have this quote tattooed on my arm, overlaid a pocket watch which is set at the time my second daughter was born, 11 o’clock. My daughter was born on the 11th day of the 11th month in the 11th hour.
I had the quote because it resonates with me so deeply. I have often questioned my own sanity. But also, my beautiful daughter is ever so slightly bonkers and this quote suits us both perfectly.
I used to think that there was something wrong with me, something wrong with my daughter, something wrong with both of us. But you know what? There is nothing wrong with either of us. I have struggled with my own sanity over the years. I have often thought I was depressed or abnormal. My daughter was a very difficult baby, very clingy and demanding. I realise now that, although I may have suffered with mild depression throughout my life due circumstances, I was not abnormal or insane or mad. I was just under pressure. A working mum with a demanding baby, a school age daughter and unresolved childhood demons. I have grown to understand that it’s OK to not be perfect. It’s OK to leave the ironing until tomorrow. It’s OK if the kids eat fish fingers and chips occasionally. My daughter has grown into a well grounded, very funny, quirky young lady. My oldest daughter survived her neurotic mother and bratty younger sibling. We are all still standing.
It’s OK to be a bit MAD sometimes. Like Alice says “all the best people are”. We laugh at ourselves now. We laugh at my mad outbursts when things get too much. In fact now the girls are both hormonal teenagers they have their own little outbursts that we can laugh at once the red mist has descended and we can all see the funny side of hormonal rage. There is a lot of love and affection in the teasing that goes on about the madness in our house. The truth is we are no different to many other women around the world.
So have I gone mad? I’m afraid so. But I’ll tell you a secret. I don’t care. I am perfectly happy with who I am. My children are perfectly happy with who I am. Hatter is one of the most delightful characters in Wonderland and he was totally bonkers!
Love and happiness