As I fall into the abyss of sleep. Soft, quiet, solitude envelopes me. Pain leaves the body. No more feelings of lack, of not being enough. No more body dysmorphia. No more battles with the mirror. No more feelings of loss, of resentment. Head hits the pillow and sinks into what one hopes is eternal rest. White light begins to wash away the black, suffocating fog of mind. Peace. Still. Calm. No feelings of regret. Inner child can rise and rejoice once more. Innocent. Self loving. All is still for a while. Why must this end? Why must the choking smog of wake return? Can this just be a while longer. Anxiety rising as waking approaches. Darkness threatens. This could be all there is if I were strong enough to make sleep eternal. But I am not strong. The coward prevails and I must face the demons of my mind in waking moment. For now though, dwell in the peace of sleep and the white light of content before black fog descends once more as sun rises over east.